Saturday, March 11, 2017

Part Seven: The Electra's New Clothes



After my grandfather’s death, combined with my beloved Buick’s surprising spate of unreliability and the continuing downward spiral of my military career, I rediscovered alcohol, thanks to a recent and unexpected move to the “cool” barracks, Building 550, where alcohol was allowed. It had been quite some time since IS students were allowed to live in 550, but since I had been on hold so damn long, the barracks managers took pity on me and found me a room there. Sure, my room in 550 was smaller, my shower didn’t drain all the way, and no electronic signal could pierce the walls, but I felt like I had finally made it, allowing the legend that had built around me and my circumstances to grow. And now that I had access to booze (even though I was still underage and could get in a lot of trouble if I had a particularly bad night), I had another outlet for my resentment and disillusionment, albeit an unhealthy one. With no one to go with me and a little wary of what might break next, I didn’t take the Buick on any extended trips, just driving it to and from the schoolhouse and the occasional trip out to Lynnhaven or Norfolk.
In November, right around Thanksgiving, I got the final word. I was being denied a top-secret clearance. Since I needed one to go to ‘C’ school, that also meant that I would no longer be an intelligence specialist. As I was escorted out of NMITC for the last time, I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do with my future, except that I was, at least in my head, effectively done with the Navy. I transferred to the base training command hold, where most of my days consisted of sitting in a classroom all day, trying to find the one spot in the room where I could get cell signal, punctuated by the occasional manual-labor working party. I met with a career counselor who provided me with a handful of ratings I could transfer into, I told them that at this point I really just wanted to be out, but I was reminded of the fact that I had given the Navy six years of my life so I had to pick something. My options were undesignated seaman/airman/fireman (a phenomenon unique to the Navy, one can opt, or be forced, into a general job group and have the opportunity to move into a specific rating later), hospital corpsman (military medic), dental technician (an extension of the last), engineman (diesel mechanic), and musician (which required an audition so I didn’t bother with that). I originally chose engineman, given my decent abilities spinning a wrench, but that rating closed up before my orders were finalized and I ended up deciding upon hospital corpsman. I was not looking forward to being in a job I had no interest in, and which had a 95 percent chance I would end up in Iraq or Afghanistan, but everyone above the rank of E-5 I spoke to seemed to be positive about its career opportunities, and I felt that it certainly beat going deck (undesignated) anyway. I packed up the Buick and left Dam Neck for the last time the week of Christmas.
At the time, the ‘A’ school for hospital corpsmen (hereinafter referred to as “corps school”) was located at Naval Station Great Lakes, north of Chicago. I had already been there for boot camp in the summer, but I had never experienced a true Midwestern winter. With all the work I had done to it over the past several months, it would certainly make the trip just fine, but the car had never (as far as I knew) experienced the wonders of road salt, applied to the roads by the cubic acre in the part of the world I would be spending a winter in. The original champagne paint, rough when I bought the car three years earlier, had now worn all the way to bare metal in some spots. Most of the hood by the windshield was now bare, surface-rusted metal and the roof was almost completely so. The landau roof had no length more than a quarter of an inch between brittle cracks, many chunks of vinyl or whatever it was made of had peeled away. Taking advantage of temperatures hovering in the 60s and 70s (pretty typical for Louisiana in December), I went to Home Depot and bought out their entire stock of Rustoleum paint in Safety Red and Flat Black, as well as a massive supply of duct tape and Rustoleum Leather Brown. I took the car through the cheapest setting on an automatic wash (the only time it was ever washed) to get all the pollen and road grime off, then parked it on a couple of blankets I got on clearance at Wal-Mart and set to work.
Automotive paint is best applied by stripping the car to bare metal all over, applying a coat of primer, and then spraying the color on. I had simply bought a selection of rollers and brushes, with which I broomed on a couple coats of Safety Red to the body of the car, even using some detail brushes to get in between the logos and around tight spots. On the underside, anything that wasn’t directly involved with the performance of the running gear, or keeping it affixed to the body, was hit with a thick smear of the Flat Black. My work with fixing the landau roof was equally ghetto fabulous. I used four full rolls of duct tape making a staggered lattice structure over the destroyed vinyl, taking care to tuck sufficient edge under the top’s edges, then threw on a couple coats of the Leather Brown. If the Buick wasn’t ugly before, it was certainly ugly now, with the red having an even rougher texture than the destroyed clearcoat had, and even under the paint, one could clearly see the intricately latticed duct tape work on the landau section. Of course, I loved it, because I had done it all myself.
I needed the excitement and sense of accomplishment that re-painting my entire car by myself gave me, because around that same time, I called an end to my longest and most meaningful relationship, my relationship with Kirstie. Before kicking me out of the building, the NMITC special security officer gave me a copy of my complete investigation report, of which nearly a full page was the investigator’s opinion of my interest in furries, which Kirstie had described in detail. In hindsight, I knew it was not her fault because she couldn’t have known the damage that did to my career, but at the time I laid all the blame for everything that happened to me on her. Although I would continue to appreciate them, I also ended my active participation in the furry community. I kept my Anthrocon 2008 badge hanging from the rearview mirror as a token of the first big trip I took in the Buick. It was now the one companion I had left, and with my entire life in its trunk, I hit the road bound for my new future as a corpsman.
I wasn’t sure what to expect as I headed north on I-55 and I-57, where the temperature fell as steadily as the miles clicked by on the odometer. The stories I had heard about the Great Lakes training commands from the engineering and gunnery ratings I met while on base hold, that the instructors were actually boot-camp company commanders who moved to the school side (true for most of those schools, they are called “SDCs”), along with the impression that corpsmen are basically just slightly-diluted Marines, made me look forward to my time there even less. There had also been a great deal of confusion as to whether or not I needed a secret security clearance to be a corpsman. Since I had lost my clearance eligibility entirely in the hullabaloo at Dam Neck, I fully anticipated another long-term hold at Great Lakes, under the corframs of a much less pleasant regime.
My anxiety levels through the roof after passing by boot camp and a Marine reserve command I thought was corps school, I arrived at the actual command late at night after some 13 hours on the road. I was chided by the chief petty officer on duty for not reporting in dress uniform, so I had to go back out to the parking lot several blocks away in the 15-degree cold to retrieve it. After waiting in the freezing lobby of another building to get linens, I was given a room with two other students in a decrepit barracks with squad showers, no Internet, and walls so thick no electronic signal could penetrate them. The big slap in the face would come when I was informed that, since I was an E-3, and even though I had come from another command and had been in the Navy for a year and a half, I would be stuck on Phase 1 liberty until two weeks after I classed up. That meant I was not allowed to wear civilian clothes, or drive or ride in a personally-owned motor vehicle. It may just be me bitching, having lived pretty softly for a year on hold and now exposed to a real military training command, but my motivation had hit a new low.
The world of corpsmen is substantially different from the rest of the Navy, not least because of its strong connection to the Marines, but also given that it is a rating that allows one to be everything from a desk clerk to a mortician. I felt that most of the instructors there were assholes, but they had earned everything they had, including the right to be complete assholes to students. It was immediately apparent that I did not fit in with this culture, and it showed. Even though I wasn’t technically allowed to, I would drive the Buick to the USO or the Exchange, mostly so I wouldn’t have to walk out there in service uniform in 15-degree weather. I eventually classed up by the end of the month, which felt like the longest month of my life. My instructors immediately seemed to dislike me. I made little attempt to hide the fact that I was wholly dissatisfied with my new environs, and my effortless grasp of the material at hand made me an idiosyncrasy that they could neither understand nor break. There was also the inconvenience of helping me get my car properly registered for base. In the entire year I was stationed at Dam Neck, I had never been able to get permanent base registration decals, since I was at a “temporary” command (I ended up getting five 90-day base passes while I was there). Their irritation was evident as they guided me through the necessary steps to get everything done.
Once I passed the second test and got my Phase 2 liberty, I found that having a car, even one as ugly as mine, made me a very appealing friend to have at corps school. My fee was significantly less than what the cabs charged, and my car was probably a lot more comfortable than the urban-warrior cabs that lined up at the Metra station across the street every Friday evening. Although weekend-long stints of barracks duty limited my Buick adventures, I spent as much time as possible in it and off base. Wanting to avoid the instructors and company commanders at the Gurnee Mills Mall, just up U.S. 41 from the base, I began broadening my horizons, offering trips out to the other suburbs, mostly to the substantial mall in Schaumburg or up 41 and 94 to Kenosha, Wisconsin. The Buick offered a degree of anonymity, appearing to be just another ghetto hooptie while in the shady environs outside the base, or a winter beater that hadn’t been parked yet in the nicer areas to the west. After I removed my “UNITED STATES NAVY” window sticker and license plate frame, no one would have been able to tell that I or my passengers were military, even with my out-of-state plates. My MasterCraft Avenger tires (bought just as much for their 440 treadwear rating as their awesome redneck-chic raised white letters) never had a problem with the snow or the barely-improved roads around the area, and if my self-applied Rustoleum undercoating wasn’t doing the job I hoped it would, I wouldn’t find about it until much later anyway.
I maintained a high class average, always staying in or near the top 10 out of the roughly 60 students in my class. I never studied outside of class, simply paying attention to each instructor’s generic lecture style and reading ahead in the book was enough for me, although the brief wait between submitting my tests and receiving the grade was always a bit nerve-wracking. About two-thirds of the way through the course, it became time to pick orders. As a fleet returnee, I knew I would have a different pick of orders than the new students, so I was looking forward to a quiet clinic or small naval hospital in a decent area. Almost all the new male students in my class got orders to Marine divisions (infantry), and when the detailer segregated the actual fleet returnees from the school returnees like me, I got a bit nervous. My spirits sank when I got the list: Marine Logistics Group or Medical Battalion, 1st or 2nd, Camp Pendleton or Camp Lejeune, the absolute bottom of the barrel. Not really wanting to go to California, feeling that it was far too expensive, I went with 2nd Medical Battalion at Camp Lejeune. This would also mean that I had to attend Field Medical Training Battalion, the actual watered-down version of Marine Corps boot camp for Navy sailors. The Navy had just gotten me with another big fuck-you. I would have rather been on hold for another year.
Although I was no longer looking forward to it, at the end of April 2010, I graduated corps school, seventh in my class of about 60. I had a little bit of pride that I finally had an actual rating in the Navy. Since I had no real reason to spend time there any more, I considered taking leave elsewhere before heading on to Camp Lejeune. A friend of mine had invited me to spend some time at his place in Massachusetts, but I ultimately decided to head back home anyway, packing up the Buick yet again and heading south. The rough winter in Chicago led my old Pontiac alloy wheels to again shed several weights, so shortly after arriving home I visited a used-tire shop and bought a set of late-90s Buick LeSabre alloys for $50, then took them to Wal-Mart to have a fresh set of MasterCrafts installed. I also kept myself busy by replacing the rotors and pads at all four corners. Soon enough, it was time to point the Buick east and head to my first real duty station, Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.  

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