Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Part Four: A Buick in Uncle Kage's Court



The year 2007 became the year 2008. As the number of days before my boot camp ship day counted down, I was settling into a solid routine: school, work, Delayed Entry Program meetings on the first Saturday of every month, and filling in the time between in Christmas Tree as much as possible. I hoped that the car would be my ticket to independence and maturity. While it was clear that, especially since the LN3 swap made it orders of magnitude better, it was fulfilling the first purpose superbly, its effect on the second purpose was a little more abstract than I expected.  

Before the Buick, my entire life revolved around video games, mostly Halo 2 and Burnout 3, and my group of friends who played them. Nearly every weekend of my freshman and sophomore years of high school were spent with Halo 2 LAN parties, but then I got a job to prepare myself for car ownership and the weekends duking it out on Coagulation and Foundation, eating cheap pizza and off-brand soda were becoming a thing of the past. The Buick was my ticket to independence and a dream I had (even if I wasn’t always aware of it) since I knew what a car was, but to my friends it seemed like mostly a ticket to (mostly) free rides and a cavernous trunk to hide illicit (for our age) substances. Of course, I had never been above the partying, having participated in many a party with them when I was 16 and 17, but I found myself saying no, and also being glad to have my job to fall back on, more and more as the parties became less let’s-see-if-we’re-still-good-at-Halo-drunk and more like proto-frat-boy ritualization. I was growing up, but I was beginning to wonder if my friends were not. 

After one of the parties at my friend’s house became raucous enough to be busted by the police (I had been at work), I decided to take a break from that group and began exploring the friendship of some of my coworkers. By this time I had been promoted from cashier to grocery clerk, which I enjoyed significantly more than cashiering. My managers enjoyed me as a clerk much more than they did as a cashier as well, and I was firmly in the camp of Valuable Employee. My fellow clerks were mostly rednecks, both of the moneyed part of West Monroe and the semi-white-trash parts out in unincorporated Ouachita Parish, generally decent young people (we weren’t old enough to start talking about sociopolitical issues). I didn’t fit in at all but we all enjoyed my square-peg-in-a-round-home attempts at being cool, and they especially appreciated that I could take any amount of ribbing and dish it out just as hard. Once I started getting invited to their parties, I found they were just as raucous, but enjoyably so (for 17-18 year old me, anyway, maybe I hadn’t quite grown up yet after all), and since at least someone there had some sort of direct connection to the local law enforcement, there were no uncomfortable encounters.

It was also around this time that I met my future girlfriend, Kirstie. She started as a cashier at the store I worked at several months after I moved to the grocery department. Her first reaction to meeting me was something along the lines of “holy shit, your eyes”. I have one blue eye and one brown eye, which I learned was an extremely attractive trait in the furry community (the appreciation of anthropomorphism, to give a simple definition), in which she was a budding artist. While she didn’t understand my hard-wired obsession for cars, it was very nice to have some else very close who was weird. From then on we were inseparable, or writing now with hindsight, she was inseparable with me. She had developed for herself the “fursona” of a fox, and fashioned me one of an odd-eyed raccoon, both vagabonds who fit in just enough to function and get what we needed but who would never truly be a part of anything. There was a bit of a learning curve, and even though there was (and still is) a bit of a stigma on minors, I fully immersed myself into it all.
With at least my immediate future guaranteed through the military, I hadn’t put as much effort into my studies as I had the Buick, work, or my pursuit of furriness with Kirstie. My last semester of high school I needed to take 7:00 AM classes to have enough credits to graduate, which I did in May 2008, 400-something-th out of the 450 or so students in my class, the first (and, as it would turn out, only) one of my mother’s three children to do so. Only a handful of the people who became my first friends in high school did. I had suddenly become aware of the passage of time. I was a Real Adult now, without even realizing it, and whether I liked it or not.
Wanting to spend as much time as possible together before the Navy took ownership of me, Kirstie wrung her parents for two tickets to Anthrocon 2008, all the way up in Pittsburgh. Neither of us had ever been that far north, and I was excited to test the Buick’s mettle as a real long-distance road cruiser, having only wet its feet a little bit on long roadgeeking excursions. I planned a route with the latest copy of the Rand McNally Road Atlas (the other thing I read religiously and memorized cover-to-cover apart from car brochures), and we hit the road. The trip started off less than encouraging, at interstate speeds there was a hand-numbing vibration through the wheel, bad enough to prompt me to find a shop just a few miles across the Mississippi border. They found that my wheels, the ancient Pontiac 6000 alloys that had been on there when I bought it, had shed their weights. It was a quick and easy fix, one that the shop even did for free, and the ride was significantly better after that. The Christmas tree’d-out dashboard made me a bit wary, keeping in mind the cause of the engine swap that inadvertently caused the Christmas tree-ing, because I had no way of knowing whether or not I was running hot or low on oil. I took to checking the oil and coolant every time we stopped. Kirstie was not a confident driver, and even less so in my big, ponderous, quirky old hooptie, so I ended up pulling the lion’s share of the 1100-mile drive. If we ran hot, the Buick never showed it, and it was even averaging close to 25 mpg by the time we arrived in Pittsburgh.
The convention was generally enjoyable. I really dug the brightly-colored fursuits, welcoming and cuddly-looking, although I only admired from afar as I was too worried I would accidentally offend or somehow damage someone’s expensive work (those suits cost about three or four times what I paid for my Buick). I also had the feeling that, being a non-fursuiter at a furry convention, I was missing a significant part of the point, and the fact that we were under 21 (in the city with the most bars per capita in the U.S.) and on a shoestring budget limited our appeal as hangout buddies after-hours. Still, I had as much fun as I felt I reasonably could have, and Kirstie was especially happy that I came with her. As far as a final trip in my last days as a civilian, I couldn’t have asked for much better.
When it was all over, we pointed the Buick back south, my convention badge hanging from the rearview mirror, where it would stay for a couple years. The drive home was largely uneventful. I spent much of it reflecting on the past, the future, and all that philosophical nonsense of a teenage mind racing as it realizes its halcyon days are just about over. I wanted the road to continue into infinity, just the two of us and the Buick. Of course, that didn’t happen, and we returned to West Monroe.
My last couple weeks as a civilian were a blur. I don’t remember a whole lot aside from leaving my grocery-store job, the going-away party my friends from there threw me (of which I don’t remember much after the Everclear showed up), and trying to spend as much time as possible with Kirstie and the Buick before the day I had to be at the recruiting office at 7:00 AM sharp for my six-year date with the Navy.

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